Snapshots
We asked one member of each class to write down all of their activities during a week of residency. We hope that this will give you a quick snapshot into what life is like for our residents!
PGY-1
PGY-2
PGY-3
PGY-4
PGY-1
PGY-1 Daniella McDonald (she/her)
Education
MD/PhD: UC San Diego School of Medicine
MS: UC San Diego
BA and BS: UC San Diego
Bio
Daniella was born in Torrance in Los Angeles, but after a family divorce moved down to San Diego with her mother as a baby. She grew up in San Diego her entire life and has the San Diego laid back beach vibes through and through. However, Daniella has always had that glimmer of bougie with a “hustle and bustle” attitude so LA feels like a second home. She was ecstatic to match her top choice at UCLA Semel and be close to her fiancé’s family and father after her mother’s passing. As a transgender-identified woman she has done lots of social justice in the trans healthcare arena founding Transgender Week of Visibility at her medical school UC San Diego back in 2016 (now Transgender Week of Action) and giving many talks on trans health in the San Diego area. Daniella was honored to be inducted into the Gold Humanism Honor Society by her faculty and peers and won the Chancellor’s Dissertation Medal in Biology for her Cell publication on human development. She has helped publish multiple articles regarding gender affirming surgeries as she once thought she would be a plastic surgeon. However, being on the wards quickly made her realize her strong connection with the psychosocial aspects of all her surgical patients as she made profound connections with them pre- and post-operatively. One surgeon even told her she would be perfect for psychiatry. On her psychiatry rotation she fell in love with the field, her mentors, and understanding her patient’s lives on a deeper level. There was no looking back as psychiatry spoke to her soul. In the field of psychiatry, it truly is hard for her to choose one interest, but it spans broad with a fascination for psychodynamic psychotherapy, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, couples therapy, neuromodulation, addiction, mood disorders, gender affirming mental health, mindfulness practices, and as an MD/PhD of course research. Her current dream is to have her own small practice on the side and become a program director (perhaps at UCLA one day). She does not see herself leaving LA anytime soon and would like to settle down with her fiancé and start a family. She has been thoroughly impressed with how much LA has to offer not just in city life, but in nature as she has explored 10 waterfalls and too many beaches to count in her summer before starting residency. She loves hiking, gardening, barefoot beach runs, meditation, reading books on therapy, and working on her transgender dating app Jeweled in her free time. She also loves a good night out here and there in the LA scene.
Follow Me for a Week
Monday
- Morning: I feel pumped after an amazing 8-mile weekend hike through the Santa Paula Punch Bowls with the UCLA psych residency. I wake up at 6am to get ready for my West LA VA Inpatient Psychiatry rotation. My morning routine involves skincare (sunscreen always!) and a bit of makeup, watering the 35+ plants in my gorgeous Westwood apartment and balcony, walking my chihuahua terrier mix Fantasy around the block, and walking to the VA hospital (only 15 minutes away on foot). I grab a brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso at the Starbucks inside the VA and a muffin before rounding on my patients. One of my patients was recommended a holistic approach including peppermint oil aromatherapy by the pain management team for headaches and I have been trying to find ways to make it happen for this patient even though pharmacy does not offer aromatherapy.
- In the afternoon, I was able to leave a bit early around 2:00pm so I can head home and take a small powernap before my call shift at UCLA.
- In the evening I head to the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Hospital for my call shift at 5pm. I had 1 admit who came to the hospital with suicidal thoughts. The family was very supportive of this patient which always touches me when I hear their stories and reminds me why I am in psychiatry. I established rapport with the patient and family and they asked for my personal patient work number! Not a common occurrence for an intern, but we are given patient work numbers where patients can leave voicemails and agreed to give them the number prefacing that I do not work in the outpatient setting yet and they’ll need to wait a few years to work with me. I head home and make popcorn and watch an episode of “The Ultimatum” on Netlfix before dozing off to sleep.
Tuesday
- Morning: I wake up around 6:30am today and get ready for my day followed by a brisk walk to the VA. I am so thankful for my Sub-I and Med students who work with the patients with me as it makes pre-rounding so much more efficient. I finally found a way for my patient to receive peppermint aromatherapy in the form of menthol lotion! Success!
- We had the afternoon off for a mental health half day so I walked home and relaxed until my therapy appointment. My therapist went over doing small things for myself every day to have a sense of control and calm in my life.
- In the evening, I cleaned the apartment and did laundry in anticipation of seeing my fiancé tomorrow after a 9 month deployment. I read a few pages from “Psychiatric Interviewing: The Art of Understanding” (recommended by our PD) while sipping herbal tea, and did my evening skincare routine. Did a quick FaceTime call with my fiancé before sleep.
Wednesday
- Morning: I wake up at 6am and try to get a little extra cute today because I am picking my fiancé up after 9 long months! I round on all my patients in the morning and thankfully can go home at 11:30am since I was able to switch my call shift with someone else in the program allowing me to have the rest of the day off to have time for my fiance’s return. Thank goodness for the flexibility in this program!
- Afternoon: I buy some flowers to decorate the kitchen with before picking him up. It feels unreal after 9 long months to see him back and now living with me in LA.
- Evening: We order food in and watch TV together. Before bed I sip some tea and read a psych article on the effectiveness of various antipsychotics for a journal club we have tomorrow during rounds. What I learned is that instead of classifying antipsychotics as typical and atypical we should consider a classification system based on their side effect profile. Okay time to sleep!
Thursday
- Morning: I wake up to breakfast and coffee in bed! He’s the best. My fiancé walks with me to work with our dog Fantasy. I round on my patients in the morning and my patient loves his menthol lotion. His headache has gotten better and his congestion is less. He’s currently pending a conservatorship hearing and I’ve been researching his chart to make the best case I can for his care. We discussed the article and it just makes me feel so grateful to be in psychiatry. I love the field so much and I truly find it so fascinating. And to think I almost went into Surgery!
- Afternoon: While checking up on my patients in the afternoon a patient approached me asking about transgender resources. I do some research and provide the patient with appropriate LGBTQ resources at the VA. I then inform their primary resident about the resources available. The West LA VA is one of the more progressive VAs we have.
- Evening: I come home and lo and behold my fiancé built the bookcase I was trying to build! It is gorgeous. I wish I could show you all! We decided to do a fancy date night at Laurel Hardware where I try a fancy cocktail that has a Szechuan flower in it that you chew and it makes your whole mouth tingle as you sip your drink. We then head home and I read the Happiness Trap which is about ways to use ACT in your daily life. I’m strongly considering the psychotherapy concentration and love reading more about therapy when I can. I do a 20-minute meditation session on my rooftop terrace before bed. Trying to re-incorporate meditation into my life more regularly.
Friday
- Morning: It’s Friday! I get to the VA around 7:30 to pre-round on my patients. One of my patients has been struggling with hematuria and today it got so bad there’s clots. Today was a bit of a hectic day trying to consult medicine and urology. One thing I’ve noticed about UCLA is the kindness and warmth from other services when I consult them. I have never felt hostility or “pimping” moments. They quickly help me and we execute a plan as a team.
- Afternoon: My patient refuses to get the imaging recommended and nursing calls me to talk to the patient 1-on-1. A big part of psych is building a strong therapeutic alliance with your patients and finding ways to motivate them to accept care. After some long discussions and coaxing the patient agrees if I go down with him to the Radiology floor to help ease his nerves. Ultimately after the imaging came back we had to transfer my poor patient off the psych floor to medicine to clear out his hematuria. While all this was happening, I was also able to unite another patient with his granddaughter after she thought he passed away years ago. They had never met and it was such a beautiful and impactful moment for me as his provider to help facilitate this. The granddaughter wants to help his grandfather any way she can and is interested in being his conservator. I must admit my eyes got watery watching this beautiful moment unfold.
- Evening: Wow what a busy and emotional Friday. I head home around 6pm and take a nice long bath. I feel good about the week and even in the chaotic moments I feel so much gratitude to be in psych and in such a welcoming environment like UCLA.
Saturday
- Morning: I slept in all morning. I needed it.
- Afternoon: By afternoon I wake up and it is gorgeous outside. I replace the food in my hummingbird feeder and sit on my balcony sipping coffee with my fiancé watching the hummingbirds fly by chirping away. It is a very lazy day and thank goodness I have my weekends to myself.
- Evening: Me and my fiancé make dinner together. He cooked the steak and I made the vegetables and rice. We decided to watch a new series “Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test” which did not get great reviews, but he’s in the military and likes to give his critiques to me as we watch. I read a bit from The Happiness Trap with some tea before sleep.
Sunday
- Morning: Another lazy morning where I sleep in. This is wellness!
- Afternoon: By afternoon my fiancé and I decide to go on a waterfall hike. There are so many to choose from. LA is not just city life and celebrities. There is so much nature to explore and we go on an exciting trail called Trail Canyon Falls. After a 5-mile gorgeous hike with our dog Fantasy we headed back home exhausted, but content.
- Evening: We have a lazy evening and decide to order take out from Szechuan Impression which is amazing authentic Szechuan style cuisine nearby in Sawtelle. 5/5 stars if you love that numbing tingling Szechuan spice. What a fantastic week! I end with my self-care moment with my skincare routine, tea time, and reading a bit from “Psychiatric Interviewing” where they discuss how to display empathy differently to patients with psychosis versus patients without psychosis (you use a lower degree of valance!). I then drift to sleep.
PGY-2
PGY-2 Erin Hegarty (she/her)
Education
- MD at the University of Washington
- Undergraduate at Baylor
Bio
Erin was born and raised in eastern Washington state. She earned her undergrad degree from Baylor University, where she ran cross country and track and attended as many basketball games as possible (Sic Em, Bears). She then spent two years in Chapel Hill, NC, getting her masters in Sport Administration (‘Sko Heels) and continued to attend as many basketball games as possible. Working in student-athlete development at UNC was the start of a growing interest in mental health. After spending a year coaching cross country and waitressing in the Midwest, she decided to take the plunge and attend medical school at the University of Washington. Erin’s interest in psychiatry stems from the observation that it is very difficult to thrive in any other area of life if the mind is unwell. Particular interests within the field include consult-liaison psychiatry, medical education, and climate justice. UCLA felt like the perfect place to explore those interests in a variety of practice settings (academic center vs county vs VA) under incredible program leadership. During her freetime, Erin loves sipping on soy milk lattes, trying local vegan spots, and running soft-surface trails around LA.
Follow Me for a Week
Monday
- 6:50 am – alarm goes off. I open my blinds to let some of that beautiful Cali sunshine into my room. I check my work phone to see how many patients we had come in overnight. I’m on the consult service right now, so we usually have a couple of patients added to our list overnight (thanks to our hardworking co-rezzies on call and on nights) or there may be some pending consults.
7:00 am – throw on some Taylor Swift to help get me out of bed. Brush my teeth, use the restroom, bop to Taylor, put on scrubs, and make sure my backpack has the essentials (badge, keys, coffee thermos, workout clothes for later)
7:30 – hop on my bike and head to UCLA!
7:40 – arrive to UCLA. List isn’t too crazy today, so I sit outside and sip on coffee from the caf (courtesy of our $3000 food allowance from UCLA cha ching) while I chart review on my laptop. I love starting my day with some outside time when I can.
8:10 – 10:00 – run around the hospital seeing patients! If I have extra time before rounds, I will start my notes, look up any medication or other clinical questions that came up for me while thinking about my patients’ plans, and chit chat with my two amazing co-residents, Jason and Afaf, in the CL workroom. One of the best parts of being on CL is getting to be on a team with two other residents in my same class. This is a huge bonus that is unique to the CL rotation. I just made the transition from Harbor to UCLA, so having a couple of friendly faces (who were willing to walk me through all the new processes I needed to learn!!) was soooo nice.
10:15-?? Rounds with Dr. Brooks, one of the main CL attendings. There are always lots of laughs with Dr. Brooks. Formal teaching is less common but he throws in clinical pearls here and there, including items he thinks show up frequently on the boards.
?? – 1:30 – seeing any consults that came in during rounds, share our recs with the primary teams, follow up with patients
1:30 – Back to the caf for lunch. I’m a bigggggg bowl girl, so I hop in the salad line and load up on several of the shockingly good items (think chopped jicama, baba ganoush, gorgeous olive assortment, artichoke hearts and hearts of palm – like what??)
3:30 – Made it through another day!! We stop taking consults at 3:30, with the goal that we can finish up patient care and notes by around 5 pm. If the CL residents are done with their work at this time, two of the three can leave while one needs to stay till at least 5 pm (when the on-call residents and moonlighter take over). Today, no consults came in after around 2 pm, so I was actually able to finish things up by around 3:45 pm. Afaf still had some notes to write for her patients, so she offered to stay until 5 pm (angel). It’s much more common that we are all there till at least 5 pm but today was a lucky day! The day before, I was working till about 6:15 pm – but that is also more of an outlier than the norm. I’d say on average, I leave around 5.
3:45-4:15 – sit outside and read Dr. Heldt’s Memorable Psychopharmacology book next to Afaf while she works on notes. It’s so easy to read and so relevant. Highly rec.
4:30 – hit the gym!! One of my favorite things about being in LA is that the sun is out almost every day. Because of this, most of the UCLA gyms have an outdoor area with free weights and a small variety of machines. I loooooove getting to be outside while using equipment that would be inside at most gyms. It’s upper body and abs today. Obviously, I’m listening to Taylor Swift followed by a RealPod episode. I crush it tbh.
5:45 – walking out of the gym, I check my work phone, only to see one of my favorite email subjects: BACKUP NEEDED. Heck yeah. A super cool thing about UCLA – that I haven’t heard of at other programs – is that you have an opportunity to make money starting as an intern! If several consults come in back-to-back-to-back, the team can request for “backup.” When you’re backup, you take one of the consults off the call team’s plate; in return, you are rewarded with $200 per patient. It’s like moonlighting one patient at a time without having to be an upper year. Pretty neat to get paid for more patient experience. I skirt back to UCLA on my bike to see a consult patient in the MICU. Because I’m on consults right now, I love being able to tell the patient’s family I’ll see them the next day.
7:15 – after seeing my patient, talking with his family, staffing with the on-call attending, writing a hold and delivering it to the patient, and then providing the primary team with recs, I am walking out of the hospital to speed bike home.
7:22 – I walk in the door, microwave some leftovers, run upstairs to change, shovel food into my face as fast as possible, and then head out the door to drive to the apartment belonging to my co-rezzies, Amber and Afaf.
7:45 – arrive at Amber and Afaf’s for the *best night of the week* aka Bachelorette night. We are on week 5 of watching the Bachelorette together, and it’s been such a fun weeknight activity to look forward to each week. We have had guest appearances from Jason, Allie, Jessie, and David O as well. We love to get our charcuterie board on, sponsored primarily by Trader Joe’s and snacks from the cafeteria. I finish up my note on commercial breaks.
9:30 – we debrief on another dramatic episode and make predictions for next week. I hug Amber and Afaf goodnight and head on home.
10:00 – I shower, make a quick evening snack, brush my teeth, and then hit the sheets.
10:30 – set my alarms for tomorrow, make sure my work phone is on silent, close my eyes, and fall asleep instantly.
Tuesday
- Morning: Bike to the hospital and arrive around 7:30 am. There are several psychiatry patients boarding in the ED, so I am going to see one of them in order to help our “ED resident” out. The CL team has been great about truly acting like a team. We try to even out the workload so no one resident has too much on their plate at one time. After staffing with Dr. Seroussi – who is the absolute best – in the ED, finish seeing my CL patients before rounds with Dr. Brooks at 10 am. He gives us some learning points on how to interpret data related to drug trials.
- Afternoon: It’s a sort of busy afternoon, with multiple consults coming in between rounds and 3:30 pm. Still have time to sneak to the cafeteria to grab lunch to munch on while working on notes in the CL workroom on the fourth floor. Salad bar has baba ganoush today so I’m a happy camper.
- Evening: It’s a sort of busy day so I don’t end up leaving until around 5:50 pm. I hit Ralph’s on the way home to grab a couple quick grocery items. Head home, change into running clothes, and hop into my car to head to the running path along Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. On my way, I stop by an all-vegan baked good store called Erin McKenna’s Bakery to grab some treats for the CL team for tomorrow. I meet a couple of Harbor residents on Ocean Avenue for a fun run. We start up top and then take a pedestrian bridge down to run along the beach past the Santa Monica Pier. The weather is perfect, and there are so many people out and about. It’s such a fun vibe. We run up the California Incline on our way back to Ocean Avenue and agree we’re gonna come back and do hill repeats at some point. We finish right as the sun is setting. I head back home, eat a big dinner, shower, and slide into bed to read Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid before I fall asleep.
Wednesday
- Morning: I get up and run before work today! I get nice and sweaty, which is my favorite way to start the day. After a quick shower, I bike to the hospital around 7:45 am. The night wasn’t too busy so I don’t need to see any new ED patients. It’s a fairly typical morning. On Wednesdays, we stop seeing consults at 12:30 pm so that we can make sure to get to our 2 pm didactics on time. Thankfully, our last consult comes in around 11:30 am so we’re in a good place heading into the afternoon.
- Afternoon: There is time to eat lunch outside today! I absolutely love the sunny lawn area just outside Regan’s cafeteria. A group of 4-5 of psychiatry PGY2s and one psych intern all sit in a circle on the lawn, eating our lunch together before we head across the street to Semel for didactics. The didactics at UCLA rule!! Our first lecturer is Dr. Gitlan, who is a mood disorder expert. He’s been doing a multi-week series for us on mood disorders and their treatments. His lectures are so engaging and so “high-yield.” Our next lecture is by Dr. Marder, another psychiatry legend, whose area of expertise is psychosis. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to learn from some of the biggest names in the field of psychiatry here at UCLA.
- Evening: My co-resident, Jess, and I go for a little walk around Westwood after didactics to catch up. I love how sunny it is everyday here. It also feels so nice to move around after sitting for three hours. At home, my roommate, Max, and I make dinner simultaneously in the kitchen. I spend some time reading Dr. Heldt’s Memorable Psychopharmacology book – if you haven’t heard of it, go get yourself one!! Such a nice review of the primary neurotransmitters targeted by psychiatric medications and then the medications themselves. His mnemonics are gold. After a nighttime snack, I brush my teeth and get into bed to keep reading Carrie Soto.
Thursday
- Morning: Start my day with some Kinross full-body action. They have so many different resistance bands (both the long skinny ones and the smaller ones for your legs), which I highly value. Get to the hospital just before 8 am and see a patient in the ED who was still there from yesterday. Then the usual: chart review, go see CL patients, and see one new consult before rounds with Dr. Brooks around 10:30. Consults is really a fun service because you see such a variety of things: we evaluate homicidal ideation, assess capacity, make medication recommendations for agitation, assist in delirium workups. So much to learn!
- Afternoon: Lunch, one other new consult, notes. Rush out of the hospital around 5:20 pm in order to make it home for our 5:30 pm process group. I log into Zoom a few minutes late to see our facilitator and four or five other co-residents. Getting to participate in a process group (which is not just a support group, I learned; it is a very distinct and unique type of therapy that requires a lot of vulnerability and emotional openness but also can result in a lot of growth) is a such a cool opportunity for us residents to not only better understand this specific therapeutic modality but also experience our own personal growth as individuals and as a group.
- Evening: Process group concludes at 7 pm. I am wiped but in a good way, sort of like you feel after a hard workout. I make dinner and eat it while scrolling IG and texting on my phone. Sometimes, you need a little phone time! I shower again and put on jammies (my favorite time of day ha) and pack for a weekend trip. Bedtime snack, teeth brushing, Carrie Soto, and lights out.
Friday
- Morning: I sleep in this morning and head to the hospital around 7:45 am. I see a lovely patient in the ED with first-time manic behavior after recently using mushrooms. I like seeing these bread-and-butter cases to practice how to interview efficiently when patients can be hyperverbal or tangential. It’s also fun to think about medication regimens for the acute and maintenance periods in patients who have never been on medications before. Dr. Seroussi and I have a good discussion about this before I head back upstairs to finish seeing my CL patients.
- Afternoon: By the grace of God, it’s Friday afternoon and we don’t get any super late consults! We finish up our notes and communicating recommendations to primary teams. Even though only one of us technically needs to stay until 5 pm, we all stay the whole time, shooting the breeze and talking about life stuff. Jess, another PGY2 on inpatient psych right now, pops by to hang for a bit, too. Such a nice debrief session to close out the workweek.
- Evening: run around the Westwood neighborhood (it’s kind of a rollercoaster!), shower, and eat dinner at home. Catch a bus to LAX to take an overnight flight to Pennsylvania. People say LA doesn’t have good public transit but there are still some very useful bus routes that can carry you quite far. I love taking the bus to LAX when I have the time because it’s both economic ($1 hello) and sustainable. At the airport, I throw on as many clothes from my bag as I can to ensure I meet Spirit’s carry-on requirements (which I do, we love to see it.) Put on an audiobook, fall asleep, and wake up as we prepare for landing around 5 am EST.
Saturday and Sunday
- I enjoy the whole weekend in PA without thinking about work! We have golden weekends frequently as PGY2s, which makes it easy to take short weekend trips to visit friends and family outside of LA. I really value living within 20 minutes of such a well-trafficked airport that allows me to travel domestically and internationally with minimal layovers and lower expense. This weekend, I’m in PA with some friends from Washington to help my medical school bestie find her wedding dress. We dress shop, try local restaurants, and go to a fun local celebration of…pickles – who’d have guessed! I land back at LAX around 9 pm PST on Sunday night, and my angel friend picks me up and takes me back to Westwood. I shower, eat a snack, and prep my backpack and scrubs for another week on CL. And that’s a week in my life as a UCLA resident!
PGY-3
PGY-3 Jinit Sanjiv Desai (he/him)
Education
- BA, Philosophy, University of Illinois at Chicago
- BS, Neuroscience, University of Illinois at Chicago
- MPH, University of Illinois School of Public Health
- MD, University of Illinois College of Medicine, Rockford
Bio
I was born in Ahmedabad, India. My family moved into a 2-bedroom apartment in Downers Grove, Illinois when I was ~18 months old, and I spent most of my life in and around Chicago thereafter. I attended the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) as part of its Guaranteed Professional Program Admissions (GPPA) program after high school; I mostly studied neuroscience, philosophy, and Spanish. As an undergraduate, I found enzymes less compelling than Rawls and authorship less meaningful than mentorship. Upon graduation, during the summer of 2015, I studied Hindi in Jaipur on a U.S. State Department Critical Languages Scholarship. I then took a year to complete an MPH in Community Health Sciences at UIC’s School of Public Health and spent the following year at La Universidad del Valle in Cali, Colombia, working as a Fulbright English Teaching Assistant. In addition to aiming for a Freirean pedagogy, I co-founded and co-edited a bilingual literary magazine (Mango) and studied a pinch of dramaturgy. After, I attended the University of Illinois College of Medicine in Rockford. There, in addition to eating Taco Bell with Sanjana and contemplating the Rock River while listening to Murakami, I worked as a Peer Educator and organized a dialogical seminar advised by Dr. Howard Waitzkin. I’m happy to say that I matched where I belong. My colleagues are remarkable human beings, and our work is challenging and fruitful.
Follow Me for a Week
Monday
- Morning: In some ways, I’m inescapably Indian. I make myself some masala chai. I have frozen grated ginger to streamline the process without corrupting it. I’m cat-sitting Haba for Anthony. I have the unique misfortune of regarding Dr. Jang as both a colleague and a dear friend. I play with Haba a bit, for him and for me. I feel a duty toward his developing consciousness, and I want him to stop hunting my arms and legs. I have an RPC patient at 10AM. As a fast-tracker into CAP, I’m required to work with at least one patient in longitudinal psychodynamic therapy. I’m working with two because I like sitting around and staring at peoples’ faces… and because personhood as remedy and instrument remains compelling.
- Afternoon: Our resident leaders, including the illustrious Dr. Igwe and Dr. Wong, arrange a surprise farewell and celebration for Dr. DeBonis. We thank her for being a wonderful and inspiring Program Director, toasting non-alcoholic sparkling juice in her honor. Residents from all classes come to the resident library in the Semel Institute, and I feel grateful for our intentionality around community, the genuine warmth, the awkward hopefulness borne of potentials realized and not, swept along speedily by time’s current. I dodge the cupcakes like a lesser Neo. I have supervision at 1PM for my morning patient. Both of my supervisors are members of the PCFA, a vital group of volunteer faculty, many former residents themselves, who offer their mentorship and expertise. Her office is nearby in Westwood, though it transports me to Europe.
- Evening: I moonlight internally because I’m not good at paperwork or money. And because I value learning from a broad range of presentations. But mostly because I enjoy asking my peers uncomfortable questions. Some of the best conversations I’ve had during residency have taken place in our cramped work areas. I get home shortly before midnight. I sit next to Haba on the floor and eat pasta while he eats other animals disguised as crunchy cookies. Halfway through this writing, he lies on top of my notebook and beseeches me to rub his belly. I oblige.
Tuesday
- Morning: I forgot something. Yesterday, on my way to my office after supervision, I learned that a former patient hung himself. We worked together for a month while I was on an inpatient service. I used to sit on the floor with him and try to understand him, peer past the delusions, hold tight amid the sudden bouts of anger. It’s the first time. I did what I could. We did what we could. Tears came to my eyes. The day went on. I drive to didactics, knowing the world carries on without him, and I wonder how we linger, if we linger, where memory is embodied in the interstitium. Our didactic curriculum, like any other, is a work in progress, but PGY3 didactics have been consistently dope. Dr. Gitlin is the Taylor Swift of lecturers. Dr. Kalofonos and Dr. Castillo unwrap biological citizenship and paperwork as gatekeeping; no platitudinous land acknowledgment is needed.
- Afternoon: I scarf down a burrito during Grand Rounds and head to TriFit Club and Studios for HIIT and wet heat. I get some groceries on the way home. My wife is visiting this weekend. Dr. Wong graciously swapped calls so Sanjana and I could go up to Big Bear. At home, I meet my second RPC patient via Zoom, hoping Haba doesn’t wreck my illusion of control.
- Evening: I talk to my older brother, currently imprisoned at a state psychiatric ‘hospital.’ He told us recently that he may not be released in time for the wedding. I’m still not quite sure how to feel about that. Such is ambiguous loss. It renders grief a capricious body, inconsistently viscous. The edges of pain, however long one wanders those shrouded, worn hills, hide sharp things. I talk to my mom; I watch some Attack on Titan with Sanjana. Having a show helps close the distance. I wonder, who would dare put Eren on a hold?
Wednesday
- Morning: I make chai again. It’s really good. Then, I head out for RPEP. Our program facilitates an experience in psychodynamic psychotherapy by pairing us with a PCFA member who’s a practicing psychiatrist in the community. The vault’s gravity shifts, and I wonder about how I hold on to things, how I let go. After, I head to my office in the Semel Institute. A box without windows in a corridor lined with other boxes, I’ve already grown attached to my nest. I meet my other supervisor via Zoom to discuss yesterday afternoon’s patient.
- Afternoon: General Outpatient Clinic. We see a bit of everything. I then make my way to Johnny D’s Barber Shop for a hot towel shave and haircut.
- Evening: On the way to the gym, I talk to Dr. DeBonis about the recent suicide. Administration has been proactive and supportive; she insisted that we speak to process it, metabolize it. I again feel grateful to belong to this beautiful bunch. Am I grieving appropriately? I must try to, anyway. At home, I tend to Haba and eat some Indian food pulled from the frozen reserves, my desperate attempt to preserve and consequently dose tastes of home. And keep my soul spicey. Laundry. Sanjana is flying in tomorrow, and I have a pile of sweaty clothes marinating by the bathroom sink. Cleaning is a love language in South Asia.
Thursday
- Morning: Fortunately, I have both of my WLA VA clinics on the same day, so I don’t have to travel to a different campus during the lunch hour. There’s a pseudo-Starbucks in the cafeteria. I like to start my day with an oat milk latte, light ice, with 0.5-1 pumps of a sweetener. The ladies look at me with a knowing, pitiful smile. I suck up my PSL like I used to suck on those lollipop paint shops with my brother after our dad drove us to the local Family Video. The Domicilliary is a residential treatment facility with multiple arms. With Dr. Gabrielian, I help take care of patients with serious mental illness, many of whom have also struggled with substance use.
- Afternoon: Anxiety Disorders Clinic.
- Evening: I head to the gym for a boxing class while listening to Andrew Huberman talk to David Anderson about the biology of aggression, mating, and arousal. Gloves strapped on, my flabby core aching, pain and fear float behind my eyes. Creation and play, without shadow’s shade, don’t stay. Fact: LAX is designed to recreate on a more massive scale the conditions of the Stanford Prison Experiment. But, once Sanjana and I are on our way back to Bel-Air, and the castle on the hill that is the Getty looms, the air cools, the night brims.
Friday
- Morning: Psychosis Clinic at UCLA is not for the faint of heart. Overnight, we inherit over fifty patients, many of whom would be unable to receive the level of outpatient care they need anywhere else in California. Today is a difficult but not unusual day. A young patient recently discharged from the hospital is placed on a hold and sent back. It was the right thing to do, but it felt horrible. To assume control of someone’s life, however noble the ends, and to betray them in the process… I’m glad it hurts. It should.
- Afternoon: I snag a burrito and drive to the Venice Family Clinic. Previously, on Friday afternoons, I participated in the Clinician Educator Track summer didactics. Now, for the CEC, we’ll meet every first Friday of the month. Dr. Gallagher orients me to the workflow. Burritos are deliriogenic, I re-discover, and I try to stay awake.
- Evening: I pick up some bubble tea from Sunright. I finish up notes and orders, and then Sanjana and I get dinner at Good Day Thai. We close the night with some wine, music, and dance.
Saturday
- Morning: Yup, masala chai. We finish packing and return Haba to his parents’ home. We’ll miss the little dude.
- Afternoon: We drive up to Big Bear, at times listening to Shruti Swamy’s The Archer. We stop at The Meek House for coffee. We’re pooped by the time we get to our Airbnb and break it in with a nap.
- Evening: We trek the easy Woodland trail and then watch the sunset from the bridge on the eastern edge of the lake. We eat dumplings and watch The Bourne Identity.
Sunday
- Morning: We sleep in, make some chai, and eat some wraps.
- Afternoon: We hike the popular Castle Rock trail, and then we take on Pine Knot. We get lost a couple times, but we make it to the top and back without getting eaten by a bear or throwing pine cones at each other. Not that I was tempted, of course. The summit is splendid. To be facing the clouds as they roll by, drift atop a distant valley… I close my eyes just to open them again… to allow, invite, beg… the sublime to quiet and soothe my messy yearning to mean something everywhere, always. To surrender to time.
- Evening: We eat half-decent food at the Azteca Grill and close the night with the next installment in the Bourne series.
PGY-4
PGY-4 Taylor Smyth (he/him)
Education
- BA, Plan II Honors Program: University of Texas at Austin
- BS, Neuroscience: University of Texas at Austin
- MD: Dell Medical School at the University of Texas at Austin
Bio
A little bit about me. Born and raised in Nashville, I traveled southwest to Austin after high school to complete my undergraduate studies at the University of Texas. In college, I enrolled in the Plan II Honors Program, an interdisciplinary liberal arts degree that’s perfect for people with wide-ranging interests and no idea what they want to do when they grow up. As a sophomore, I took a course on philosophy of mind and decided to start a second degree in Neuroscience. Over the next few years, I dabbled in basic research, wrote a thesis on functional neuroimaging in severe brain injury, worked as a medical scribe, and spent a few months backpacking through Southeast Asia. In 2016, I joined the inaugural class at Dell Medical School (along with co-resident Amber Baysinger). During my third year at Dell, I completed a Distinction Track in Health Innovation and Design. This would inspire work on several projects at the intersection of health informatics, service design, and value-based care. I also fell in love with psychiatry, a field that miraculously combined the most interesting parts of neuroscience, medicine, and the humanities. In my fourth year, I landed a visiting sub-I at UCLA and was blown away by the warmth, curiosity, and enthusiasm of every person in the program. Currently, I’m enrolled in the Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Concentration (PDPc) and the Clinician Educator Concentration (CEC) and have a special interest in psychotherapy theory, research, and practice. Outside of work, I double as a movie nerd, podcast addict, amateur hiker, dog dad, and failed surfer (hot tip: watch out for the stingrays). When I’m not at work, you’ll probably find me walking my dog (River), running in Santa Monica, or reading my Kindle at Virginia Avenue Park with a cold brew coffee close at hand.
Follow Me for a Week
Monday
- Morning: I start my week with personal psychotherapy at 8:00 AM, followed by three hours of therapy supervision with individual supervisors through PDPc and the Resident Psychotherapy Clinic (RPC).
- Afternoon: After lunch, I stop by my office to send a few emails and complete a handful of refill requests. At 2:30 PM, I head over to the Semel Institute for PDPc didactics. This week, we discuss the work of Heinz Kohut and Otto Kernberg as part of a block on psychoanalytic theory. After didactics, I walk to my office to meet with one of my weekly PDPc therapy patients.
- Evening: On the way home, I swing by the gym for a quick work out, steam, and shower. Once I’m back at my apartment, I take River for a sunset walk around the block and cook dinner with my partner before settling into the couch for a movie.
Tuesday
- Morning: Tuesday mornings start with PGY-4 didactics, followed shortly by Grand Rounds.
- Afternoon: After Grand Rounds, I grab lunch with a few of my co-residents, then spend the rest of the afternoon at the Edelman Transitional Age Youth Clinic.
- Evening: I drive home after clinic and take River for a jog around the block, then settle into my reading chair until my partner gets home from her shift at the ER. For dinner, we take advantage of the beautiful southern California weather and grill some chicken and veggies with a little Salt & Straw ice cream for dessert.
Wednesday
- Morning: I start the day with four hours of external moonlighting at the Alcott Center for Mental Health Services. After wrapping up my last visit, I go for a quick run, review transcripts from a therapy session, and drive to supervision with one of my RPC supervisors.
- Afternoon: I head into the office to see two additional therapy patients – one through RPC, and the other through PDPc.
- Evening: My partner is off tonight, so we take River for a long walk around the neighborhood, then come back to watch the sunset as we eat dinner on the patio. We do a little vacation planning after dinner, enjoy some wine from a recent trip to Santa Barbara, and watch an episode of House Hunters before calling it a night.
Thursday
- Morning: On Thursday mornings, I moonlight internally as a clinician for a study on peripartum depression.
- Afternoon: After lunch, I sign onto a webinar for my Couples and Sex Therapy Clinic, then drive to a weekly psychodynamic process group in Santa Monica. After group, I see two additional therapy patients through RPC, then swing by the gym to swim some laps and wind down in the sauna.
- Evening: I don’t have to wake up too early on Fridays, so my partner and I walk River to a local brewery to meet some friends for pizza and beers.
Friday
- Morning: After some administrative work, I sign onto group supervision with one of my RPC supervisors, then see my last therapy patient for the week through PDPc. I have a short break, then log onto a Zoom meeting with another RPC supervisor.
- Afternoon: Friday afternoons are flexible, so I use the time to work on my educational project for the Clinician Educator Concentration. I finish the week by clearing out my inbox and responding to voicemails before heading home for the evening.
- Evening: My partner and I grab dinner at a local restaurant, then catch a stand-up comedy show at The Crow in Bergamot Station.
Saturday
- Morning: It’s a beautiful morning, so my partner and I take River for a walk to the farmer’s market, then pay a visit to a local coffee shop for some cold brew and empanadas.
- Afternoon: After breakfast, we pack a bag and drive up the PCH to Malibu to meet some friends for a day on the beach.
- Evening: We head back to Santa Monica to rinse off and get ready for a concert with the LA Phil at the Hollywood Bowl.
Sunday
- Morning: I wake up and head down to the boardwalk for a long run along the beach. After the run, I make a big batch of pancakes, then take care of a few things around the house.
- Afternoon: I spend a few hours reading, prepping for clinic, and reviewing video for therapy supervision.
- Evening: I chat on the phone with my parents before taking River for a walk around the neighborhood. My partner and I are feeling lazy tonight, so we order some pasta on Uber Eats and settle into the couch for a movie.